Party time? or guilty time?

I have recently pondered about the feeling of guilt associated with doing nothing. Even when there is nothing to do, really. I feel that way a lot, as if when I am not busy I am empty. I hate feeling empty. I used to have my best friends to rely on and hang out with but now they are back in India and it's getting tougher and tougher to deal with being alone. But there are really two sides of this argument. On one hand I am feeling lonely and lost but on the other I feel like I am maturing and growing more as a person everyday. I really do miss Delhi, but somehow this kind of missing feeling is not associated with any kind of nostalgia, it's more of an intrigue "what's going on, am I missing anything?" Well this emptiness will go away - I am sure. Once I find my life partner. The thing about finding a life partner is that when you least expect it it will happen - NOT NICE! I need to plan everything!! otherwise my life will go haywire. I know I am a freshman in college and my parents say that I need to have "experiences" with other people, but I dunno I feel like I can only have a connection with one person and stay committed for the rest of my life. That's why I am not ding any of that right now. I want to be in it to win it figuratively speaking. Well anyway I think that all these emotions mixed up with the nagging feeling of wanting to do something constantly is what really bugs me and makes me feel more anxious/guilty. Auf Wiedersehen kiddos! xx